‍DJ joined the firm as VP after a rigorous interview process, which consisted of walking in, sniffing everyone, and being declared the most qualified candidate by unanimous vote. He has never missed a day of work, though he has missed several meetings by sleeping through them. This is considered acceptable at the executive level.
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‍As VP, DJ oversees first-impression management. Every visitor receives a thorough sniff-based background check at the door, preceded by an announcement of their arrival via doorbell alert. His accuracy rate is 100%, as there has never been a false alarm in which a person did not, in fact, arrive.

DJ is also our Director of Strategic Napping, conducting most of his work from his couch in the corner office. Critics say it's just a nap. Supporters say it's "high-level thinking with his eyes closed." Either way, the couch has never looked better.

When he's feeling collaborative, DJ makes his rounds through the office, offering staff members the opportunity to pet him. This is a voluntary program, but participation is strongly encouraged and has been linked to improved morale, lower stress, and fewer spreadsheet-related meltdowns.

‍DJ attends client meetings and takes his seat in the conference room, specifically his dog bed, where he provides a calming presence and a steady, rhythmic snore that keeps discussions from getting too heated. He contributes little to the budget conversation but nothing to the budget deficit, either.

An older and wiser gentleman, DJ enjoys gazing out the office window, monitoring the squirrel and bird markets. When volatility spikes, he issues afirm bark to let the competition know he is watching. At home, DJ transforms into a world-class soccer athlete. He is particularly gifted at keeping the ball away from his brothers, a skill that experts agree is a masterclass in asset protection.

Loving, calm, and endlessly patient, DJ leads with kindness. If he'd like more attention, he will nudge you with his nose until you comply. His negotiation tactics are effective and nonnegotiable.

‍DJ has a well-documented weakness for chicken. Employees are reminded thatany unattended chicken is considered a "discretionary asset" and willbe audited by DJ at the first opportunity. He has never been caught, but he hasalso never been truly hidden.

‍DJ is currently accepting belly rubs, ear scratches, and treats.
No appointment necessary.